read out loud

I'm overwhelmed. I did something very foolish minutes ago, I looked at a bill. This quickly ushered in all worries of not having a job, how am I going to make rent, when will my investments payoff. I want to be able to buy something when I need it. I also want to be able to buy what I want when I want it. I want to be responsible to my financial obligations. I want to do what you want me to do and still LIVE. Open a door, I'm exhausted. Have mercy on me.