In the past 3 weeks I've had 3 very detailed dreams that i could account for so much for when i woke and even now can remember very specifically. 1) I went to this folk/blue grass festival with Karli Fairbanks 2) I lived in a Korean concentration camp giving aid to those about to die 3) was the most traumatic dream i've ever had. I was with a group of people and something severe had just occurred, something completely out of our hands. We could do nothing at all to make things better or right and the glum was taking over. I turned to this small band of folks and said 'well its okay, we can just ask God to take care of this, He can make this all work out' what happened next shook me. The people around me looked at me in astonishment. They said that God had never existed, there was no Creator, He was made up for little kids and holidays. In my dream it was so real that they were right. It was the ultimate despair, not having God to deliver. I began to cry and scream like it just couldn't be possible, i woke up crying. A proper scare. I can't imagine life without God, i may live doing stupid things that don't include Him or push Him away, but to know He is around is the blessed hope that reminds me that scary dreams or scary times won't have the final say.
Sometimes its a scary thing to think of our faith becoming sight. Our eyes unveiled to the agencies of the universe of both light and darkness. I've never had the desire of wanting to see Jesus or touch Him like so many praise songs profess. I've honestly been scared for it many a time. I haven't needed the physical faith to validate my own, what i've wanted is to hear His voice, to know that its His voice like the verse 'my sheep know my voice' thats all i've ever wanted. To be His and to know when it's His voice.
Another verse that has mentioned hearing His voice has been so special to me is the one that says 'you will hear a voice saying, this is the way, walk ye in it'. I would love to hear those words, but most of all when the world suffers thru its final hours i want to hear at the end 'welcome home good and faithful servant'. Deep in me past the wounds and scary dark places, this is what i want the most out of my life.