MOLSKINE!

I found a site that you can build your own external hard drive into the disguise of a MOLSKINE! These books are my favorite to write in and conjure up ideas in so to have another use for them is an added plus and with my computer space being taken up even more it will be handy and handsome! Check it out at:

MOLKSINE HARD DRIVE

(Make sure to scroll down a bit to see it!)

yup yup yup!

DONE IN

SOMEDAYS I JUST WANT TO BE BELIEVED IN AND NOT HAVE TO PROVE OR HAVE PROOF. TODAY COUNTS AS SUCH A TIME.

A Film, A Hope, A Human Discovery

As desired for several weeks now i finally have been given the opportunity to watch a German film called "The Live of Others". To speak in detail would be an injustice to the creators as well as to you who haven't had the chance to see it yet. I shall only tell you what i new before i saw of it. It takes place during the unsettling times of East and West Germany and closely observes the lives of those in position of power and those in the expression of art. One gent is ordered to tap a director/play writers' house to expose any conspiracies that could threaten the socialist cause but in doing so discovers more selfish reasons for its demand. That is all that i can share. It has left me thrilled, nervous, and hopeful.

It leaves me thinking that everyone is an artist. Everyone has been given the gift of creating something and who am I to define it as art or not? God being the Creator of our life and everything around it and saying that we are in His image makes me think that He would also give this privilege to us, but not in a way of creating from nothing. Only God can have that great responsibility, just seeing what are hands have made without that is a terrible thing to digest. I begin to see people who do what they were created to do with joy and continuing perfection and that not only satisfies their fulfillment and place in life but also benefits those around in a positive stimuli as artists. For instance, i hated working at Trader Joes because it didn't fill any of my desires, but to see some of my friends who knew their job inside & out who were always looking for ways to better the place for customers and for workers, i see them as artists.

There is the greatest of satisfactions of doing what you were created to do, and maybe for some who do not have a personal walk with their Creator, this is their closest avenue to hearing His voice, that they are His, that they were created out of His love, they are His masterpiece. This makes me think of how precious we are to our God, and through this intimacy of doing what you were created to do and not fully know God, in a way is another clue, a whisper from God:

"you are too precious to be by chance".

PS: if you end up watching this film, i recommend these 3 German films as well that are in a way in the same vein. "Goodbye Lenin", "Edukators", and "Sophia Scholl: Final days"

Unto the Defenseless

A set of jazz/bassanova and a packed van later we hit 90 east to crash friday night out with heavy eye lids. Five minutes of sleepy stupor brought us closer to one of those covered walk ways that cross the highways. I always look up to see if we'll pass under some one walking over us the same time we are driving under them and up ahead i see a female figure of white sweatshirt arms that appear to me to be in a struggle of sorts with a taller male shadow. I see a flash of light open and swirl around as though as an S.O.S for help from the beacon of a cell phone.

The next exit happens to be ours and i wrestle if what i saw was real in the time of snap judgments. I think upon that syndrome that nobody steps into help someone in trouble because they think someone else will step in, i think of the poor lady that syndrome is named after who screamed her last desperation's at open windows of brick apartment buildings while she was robbed and raped.

I snap back out of my thoughts, i interrupt Bruce's conversation, explain the possible violence, instruct how to get back to the walkway and we cut through one way streets. I rush out of the van running several blocks of barking dogs and unkept sidewalks, the boys (ben,bruce,and patrick) closely behind. I still see the figures over the walkway, i still see movement to suggest disturbance, patrick over takes me, we run up the escalating sidewalk to the walkway. I don't know what will happen, i just know if she's being attacked that it has to stop with any measure that i have and that we have together. We reach the top to see and identify their movements as that of young romance. Thirty feet away we look to make sure its not unwanted romance and then walk away, this time our steps at a slower pace over the danger of uneven sidewalks.

Adrenaline fades and leaves me for the first time considering the extent of what could have happened. What was i running into? What could have happened to me? Could i have been running to my end if this person was armed? I dismiss the threats to myself and feel the honor of entering into an unknown danger with my dearest friends, all putting their lives in great risk with mine to stop a harm i thought may have been occurring.I think thats what my grandfather would have done, no consideration to self preservation over the threat to someone else's life. I think the actions we took were more then a chivalry politeness, i think it an honoring of the code to 'defend the defenseless' and now my thoughts take this to a greater measure of carrying this into an awareness that surrounds how i live. I look back between my caught up breaths at the once thought violence to see the couple walking hand in hand back to descend from the walk way. I'm wired past sleep now, i've never done anything like this.

I explain a day later to my mum the events of the past night, and her conclusion was "maybe God was seeing if you would respond so that you will respond in the future when someone is being harmed". I pray to respond to the defenseless with whatever God will give me to counter their oppression, i pray to pass the test every time.

Name of the Familiar Stranger

(This is a conclusion to a previous blog below called "to be familiar again")

Tonight i saw the familiar stranger! Thats right, the gent who wears all black and likes BRMC a lot! He was at the same coffee house as i, so as i promised in my below blog i had to find out his name and make him a stranger no more! His name is Adam, he's a engineer at a sound studio, he recommends vynal shops to me in spokane, we exchange how we both know one of my favorite singers "Gemma Hayes", I tell him the story of how wonderful it was seeing a familiar stranger, he laughs, we shake hands, i notice hes wearing black chucks, black jeans, black tshirt, black jacket. This is oh so nice. I've started eliminating the strangers i run into, especially people in professions that are required to have name tags. So when i'm at a restaurant, gas station, toll booth, grocery store, record shop, i use their names. I make it a point to share that i see them more then their work uniform, that to me they are human. It makes so much difference, do it, watch them glow!

Devotions: Your Value and Mine

I've seen a pattern develop with followers of Christ. It goes something like this.

FIRST: Christianity is something that is passed down to you thru felt boards, bible stories, facts. It's a surface faith.
NEXT: A transition of being passed down to being shown Christianity. Now this for me happened in maturing into the mid-teen years. Hearing all these stories of the Bible and once having a collection of these stories recognizing the same selfless character of these stories into the lives around you that touch you.
THEN: You start to understand the genuineness of Jesus Christ, that He is tangible. This unearthly joy overwhelms, this belief system transitions from a surface to an internal and to a point that you decide that this love of God is the best thing to give your heart to.
THEN AGAIN: After a decision is made your response is to find avenues to share to serve, and usually this spreads you thin because you agree to too many things, you see so many needs and in a way you want to meet them.
THEN AGAIN & AGAIN: This becomes overwhelming because you get caught up in meeting other peoples needs that you don't take or prioritize your own time to be fed yourself on the word of God and prayer. This leads into what i call 'THE DIP' in your new found experience of walking with your God. It's a lull, a spiritual halt. You can become disinterested, remove yourself from areas of service, and stop almost all together on devotions, and slowly reside into a mandatory once a week God time and thats because of the obligation of church.

I've seen many a friend and myself submit to this slump. I hate being in the low and if you stay there long enough it becomes a bitter apathy. How can one avoid this? How can one get out of this?

If you are a burn out, and one at both ends, jumping back into the game by trying to serve again will bury you deeper and quicker like falling into a vat of quicksand. The condition must be addressed at the door of your heart. Where have you stopped letting Jesus into your heart? When was the last time you felt so close to God, like He was the dearest friend? THAT is where you must start again. Out of all in your life, the Love of God requires more then all the others in your life.

"Love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, soul, and mind" Matt. 22:37

It requires a complete submission because God loves YOU in this fullness and more. So to respond to this ALL giving love with only a bit of yourself WILL leave you unfulfilled and direction less. The thing about the verse above is that this was Jesus' response to a question "What is the greatest commandment of all?" and Jesus responds "be in a loving relationship with me with ALL of you". Now what better way to see this fullness of Gods love then hearing it everyday?

I recently came to this conclusion. Two months into touring i felt burnt out, much service with no time of feeding yourself equals much burn out! I was eating dinner with some friends and i just said out lout "God i miss us" and as soon as i had said that i heard in my head "I want you to have time with me everyday so you can hear me say that i love you". I started tearing up right there with joy and sadness. Its so easy to dismiss time with God, to put it on the back burner of the day, 'oh i can do it later' symptoms. Getting back into this time with God at first kinda feels like a chore, but don't let your feelings and mind fool you. Push beyond the 'oh i can do it later' symptoms and start your day with "God i want to hear you say you love me". It is okay to confess your neediness to God, it is the safest place to do so! This love of God in this time of devotions enables you to do more then survive your day. It empowers you to see this world as Jesus does, to see His power over the stresses, to see His provision in all your needs, to see His forgiveness in all your brokenness. This time also isn't just for yourself, it allows you to see this world as Jesus sees it in the same way as it breaks His heart. My favorite verse are these words by Jesus "I have come to give life and give it to the fullest". To hear this at the beginning of my day makes a difference that i don't want to live a day without.

For me this time has made me feel the worth God has for me. But also it has made me see the value God has on all His creation. I admit there are times that i see people and think them obnoxiously strange and irritating, but then i think "God treasures this person, He adores them, He sees them on the inside" and this, this makes me want to love on them too. Once returning to where you last had a personal encounter with God, confronting your apathy, seeing your worth in Gods eyes, then and ONLY then will you be able to love and serve again.

Friends, My fellow burnouts, You can shine again, but not only that, you can burn brighter. Recover with me, then be the revival this world needs to hear. God's love is greater and bigger then any oppression, we cannot be hurt more then we our loved!

Peace unto you!